If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you know that it can seem like you’ll never get over a breakup. When your relationship comes to an end it can definitely feel like the end of the world. Especially if you’re the one who has been dumped.
Questions will be racing through your mind and you’ll over analyze every detail of what went wrong. Your confidence will be knocked. It might be challenging to get out of bed each day. But we’re stronger than that, right? We get over a breakup in style.
Moving on from this relationship will probably be the last thing on your mind. But it’s the only option. However, moving on doesn’t necessarily mean finding someone else straight away. The most important thing you can do while dealing with your heartbreak is putting yourself first.
Focusing on yourself rather than dwelling on the past is a far more positive way of dealing with your heartbreak. So rather than eating the contents of your fridge and sobbing each night, start getting over your breakup in style. To help you do this, here are some heartbreak survival tips that encourage you to make yourself number one.
How to get over a breakup in style
Delete your ex’s number
You will go through a range of emotions as you start working towards getting over your ex. You can say and do things you regret when your emotions are running high. You might call him during a night out and beg him to get back with you. Angry texts can easily be sent when you’re feeling low and upset.
If they don’t respond or give you mixed signals, this can leave you feeling ten times worse than you did before. So to avoid getting in touch with your ex during this time it can be beneficial to delete his number. This is a smart and mature way of starting the moving on process. You might also want to consider blocking him on social media too. Otherwise, you may find yourself checking up on what they are doing – and that is definitely not a stylish way to get over a breakup.
The only exception to this rule should be if you lived together and need to arrange moving out. In which case, you should ask your parents to help you out. Your ex can contact them in regards to making house moving arrangements and they can relay his messages to you. If your ex continues to make contact after your breakup, be firm and direct. Explain that you need space and the only way you can do that is if your communication stops. Encourage him to delete your number also to make it easier for you both.
Call your girlfriends
When a breakup occurs, every woman needs her girlfriends around her for support and reassurance (cue: Girl by Destiny’s Child). Don’t hide yourself away. Call your best friends and talk to them about your heartbreak. Alternatively, you can invite them over or meet them in a local bar or coffee shop.
While it’s good to let out the hurt and anger, don’t make your breakup the main focus. When you’re in a relationship, you prioritize spending time together. This can sometimes mean that you spend less and less time with your best friends. But now you are single you have more time to reconnect and catch up.
If you constantly bring your breakup up into the conversation, it will take longer for you to get over it. If this continues over a period of time, your friends may also get bored of hearing about it. So let your friends know how you are feeling but don’t dwell on it too much. Instead, keep your mind preoccupied by asking your friends about their lives.
Ask about their family and how work is going. You can start making plans together which can make up for lost time too. Perhaps there’s a movie you want to see or a new club you want to visit. Even if it’s only a coffee date in a few days time, it will give you something to look forward to.
Find a new purpose
If you had been with your ex for a long time, you probably made many plans together. These could have involved traveling the world or getting married and even having kids. Now that your relationship has come to an end, you can be left feeling like you no longer have a purpose. This can make it harder to know which direction you should aim towards.
But rather than feeling hopeless and unenthusiastic about your life, you should instead see this as an opportunity. Similar to when you lose your job, a breakup can be a fantastic way to rediscover yourself. You now have the time and freedom to re-evaluate what you want and how you intend to get it.
Perhaps you’ve always wanted to design clothes, but your ex never gave you the encouragement you needed. Maybe you want to set up a business or write a book but didn’t have the time before. Now nothing is stopping you from pursuing these dreams and finding a new purpose for yourself. Sign up to a night class or look for hobbies you can start on sites like findmeahobby.com.
Whether it’s blogging, sewing or painting, a hobby can be a productive outlet. Not only to help you get over your broken heart but to help you find new passions and friends too. Even aiming for promotions at work can make you feel like you’re heading forwards rather than staying still. Looking to the future may seem difficult, to begin with, but it’s one of the most effective ways of moving on.
Get a makeover
Getting a makeover is something that many women do in the aftermath of their breakup. While some do it in an attempt to win back their exes (which I wouldn’t encourage), others do it to rebuild their confidence. The latter is what you should be aiming for. Your self-esteem will probably be at an all-time low during this period. But with the help of a makeover, it doesn’t have to be this way.
You could try out a new hair colour or go shopping with your friends for a new winter wardrobe. Try on clothes and accessories you would have never considered before. A new style could be just the thing to break you out of your rut. Even changing the way you apply your makeup can work wonders on your self-confidence. Watch Youtube makeup tutorials for inspiration and tips on makeup application. Then, organize a girls night out where you can showcase your new look.
Some women also go on diets and have cosmetic surgery in a bid to change their appearance and boost their confidence. But this should be something you do plenty of research on and think about carefully beforehand. While both of these options can have amazing results, they should only be done for the right reasons.
Drastic diets can be bad for your health and make you feel worse than you already do now. Whereas cosmetic surgery can be painful and expensive – plus you may not be happy with the outcome. Take a look online to see what you can find out from DavidHalpernMD.com and other cosmetic surgery sites. Also, see your doctor to talk about safe weight loss regimes. Never start a diet or get surgery on impulse as this is likely to end in disaster.
Don’t hold a grudge
It’s no secret that not all relationships end amicably and on good terms. Bad breakups can be caused by a number of things – from infidelity to financial issues. It can be easy to hold a grudge and negative emotions towards you ex when things end badly. This can lead you to bad mouthing them at any opportunity and feeling angry when you see them. (Remember when Carrie runs into Berger’s friends at Bed after the post-it breakup?! Cringe.)
If they have hurt you through their actions, this reaction is perfectly understandably. However, it’s not the best way to deal with your emotions. It can cause stress and anxiety which can affect your mental and physical state. Grudges can also change people’s perceptions of you which could cause you to lose friends in the process.
Regardless of the cause, you need to try and stop holding a grudge. This will just prolong your anger and negativity, which can make it harder to get over your ex. Start forgiving them for their mistakes and the hurt they have caused you. This will not necessarily speed up the moving on process, but it can lift a weight from your shoulders. Doing this will also remove any hold that your ex may still have over you.
Focus on the positive outcomes you have gained since your breakup rather than only seeing the negatives. Write these positives down and read them to yourself whenever you feel negatively about your ex. It shouldn’t take long for you to get a change of perspective and see this breakup as a good thing.
Remember that the most valuable relationship that you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. Prioritizing your happiness and wellbeing is a surefire way of making sure you get through this breakup firmly on top. Everything happens for a reason, and this could be a sign that better things will soon be on their way.
This post was contributed to The Lady-like Leopard.